George Santos & FIBonacci Numbers 1,2,3...

The George Santos story has hypnotized me, like watching a lava lamp …or maybe more like a Fibonacci sequence.

So that we don’t all start crying, maybe we can at least get a new nursery rhyme out of this:

Georgie Porgie puddin’ and pie

Kissed some babies, told some lies

“These are not lies, but fibs, I say!

I’m in Congress now and here to stay!”

Thoughtful people want to know: How could this situation arise in Our Great Land?

We know the answer. Journalism is in a sorry state.

Perhaps the most poignant, serious and wonderful observation about all of this came from John Kasich who said he was worried about Santos’s

mental health. I am too, but I also want to know: Golly, what’s next?

Will there be a public relations response? And what does that look like?

If this dream assignment came over the transom at a Crisis Communications firm, I can imagine the kickoff meeting:

Boss: Mr. Santos, we are honored that you have chosen the Libecker Firm. Welcome.

One bit of housekeeping before we launch into our presentation, you did sign the contract we sent?

Excuse me for a just moment…

(whispered) Tina! We got the Santos contract right? And the payment? Did the check clear?

O.K. Good.

Sorry, George, I just needed to make sure the sandwiches are on their way. George, we have given your account a lot of thought and today, we are presenting our first-choice approach. The Gold Option. Let me turn this over to Lila to take it from here.

Lila: Mr. Santos, you have been a Media Victim, we all know. We think you should take a tip from John Fetterman’s playbook. It’s not necessary to say anything understandable or true. It’s time to turn the tables and come out swinging. We suggest you call a press conference for next week. That gives us enough time to help you rehearse and give the best performance. At the conference, which we will script, of course, we suggest you say the following:

There has been a lot of loose talk about fabrications on my resume. I am here today to set the record straight. I am a humble man from a humble background. I actually watered down my resume so as not to appear to be well, boastful or arrogant. The truth is that about the time I was completing my PhD. in Physics as a young lad of 14, my family fell on hard times. When my mother died of cancer, we had to sell the family farm and I had to give up my dream of becoming an astronaut, even though NASA had accepted me. It was up to me to provide for the family. Fortunately, with my advanced training and knowledge of A.I., I was able to build an engineering company that allowed me to support my seven siblings and send them all to college. It all worked out for the best because my company is on track to save millions of lives through the development of a cure for Parkinson’s. This breakthrough treatment will be offered at no cost through my Charitable Foundation, Santos Loves America, as a service to the American public. Now, I am not going to stand here and toot my own horn. That’s not who I am. That’s not how I roll. I am here for the American people.

Thank you.

I am sorry, I do not have time for questions. I must get back to work on behalf of the American People.

So basically, Mr. Santos, we call this campaign the Bigger Lie approach. You just bury the opposition in so many lies they can’t possibly dig out. And by the time they do, you’ve completed your first term and built up lots of goodwill. We have seen this work before.

What questions or thoughts do you have?

George: I like it. I like it just the way it is. This is better than even I could have imagined.

Boss: Terrific. Now, we always caution clients that we give our best advice, but we cannot guarantee an outcome, you understand.

George: Of course.

Boss: Well, with that, I speak for our entire firm when I say that in the unlikely event that the political winds do not blow your way, so to speak, we’d love to have you as a member of our team. Not that things will not blow your way, because, my goodness, they’ve blown you really far, so far. But if you ever want a career in public relations, I want you to know that in the future, you can count on a position with Libecker, where every day, we like to say: We Do More Than Lie for Living, We’re Libecker.